


Gimme a Taste of Your Popsicle (You Know, as Friends)

by Sadisticsparkle (sadisticsparkle)



Category: Avengers Assemble (Cartoon)
Genre: Didn't Know They Were Dating, Domestic Avengers, Everybody else just wants Hulk dick, Implied Hulk Sex, M/M, POV Clint Barton, Popsicles, Steve and Tony are in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:27:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27211927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadisticsparkle/pseuds/Sadisticsparkle
Summary: After getting back together as a team, Steve and Tony have a new rule: no fraternization within the team.Too bad they're dating (even if they haven't noticed).
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 27
Kudos: 129
Collections: AA Stony Server Bingo





	Gimme a Taste of Your Popsicle (You Know, as Friends)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the AA Discord Server Bingo, square "We kiss and cuddle but are just friends!".

A normal morning at the Tower: videogames with the Hulk and Thor, with Nat providing colorful commentary and tactical tips for whoever was losing. Very peaceful and relaxing, so Clint knew that sooner or later, something would go wrong. That was life as an Avenger, after all.

When he heard Steve and Tony coming down the stairs, he knew that this was it. Peace was over and now it was time to go punch people.

‘So, team, we’ve got news,’ Steve said as he sat down on one of the couches. Tony sat down inches away from him.

Clint set down his controller and put his feet up on the coffee table, wiggling his toes. Tony’s eyebrow twitched, but he said nothing.

Important news, then. ‘What is it? New swear jar? New rules for reimbursements?’

Steve shook his head. ‘No. Tony and I were talking and we think it’s time to set up some fraternization rules.’

‘Only during date night? That’d be nice. I’m a bit tired of the lovey-dovey eyes during missions.’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about, Hawkeye,’ Steve said.

‘Sure you don’t. So what are the new rules?’

‘We’re now back together as a team and we want it to go as smoothly as possible.’ Tony said. He glanced at Steve. ‘So fraternization is strictly forbidden.’

Clint laughed. He wasn’t alone: even Nat was giggling.

‘What? This is a serious matter!’ Steve said with a very serious face. His pout somewhat spoiled the effect.

‘Steve… are you two serious?’ Nat asked.

They both nodded. It was ridiculous, hearing them talk about fraternization when their knees were touching and Tony’s arm was thrown behind Steve’s shoulders, almost touching him but not quite. Could it be possible that…? No. They couldn’t be that stupid?

Wait. They absolutely could.

‘I… I think they are,’ Thor said, as astonished as the rest of them. ‘Do you mean to tell me that on Earth, it is not allowed for warriors to enjoy each other’s bodies to the fullest?’

‘Yes. Unlike in Asgard, we have HR departments here,’ Tony said. Clint had only heard from their HR department once, after a very unfortunate incident with a nerf gun and an intern. His face had been bruised for weeks and the intern had been swiftly reprimanded.

‘It is a sad day, then. Hulk. I shall miss our battles.’

Tony made a sound that made it clear that he was picturing the exact sort of battle Clint was.

‘… I’m going to need brain bleach,’ Clint said.

Thor went on, unabated. ‘I shall remember the pleasure of sweat covering our bodies, destroyed furniture, and exhaustion in our limbs.’

Steve coughed. ‘We meant a more… amorous sort of battle,’ he said, turning a dark shade of red.

Thor tilted his head. ‘So did I!’

Clint bolted upright. ‘Okay. I’m leaving. This is too much for a Wednesday morning.’

Tony looked yellow. ‘We… we will send you the memo.’

The memo was short and to the point, ensuring everybody, including Thor and the Hulk — horrifying images invaded Clint’s mind —, understood it. The rules were very simple: no dating, no post-mission sex, no romantic or sexual relationships between team members. It’d be easy for Clint not to break the rules, but he doubted the rest would manage.

In fact, it didn’t take Steve and Tony one day before they began breaking the rules. The same morning the memo had been sent, there had been a robbery spree in Queens. Nothing major, just a bunch of pizza/music themed villains: Lead Pizzelin and his Pizza Posse. Clint had to give them points for the pun. Anyway, they had saved the day, the bad guys were under arrest and now the Avengers were wolfing down a mountain of pizzas, courtesy of the pizza parlor that had almost gotten robbed. The only one of them that was truly tired was Tony. Mozzartarella had covered his armor with cheese. It had taken him ages to clean it out and now he was falling asleep at the table.

Which was perfectly fine, but then he began leaning his head on Steve’s shoulder. Okay. That was… well, it could be a friendly gesture.  
After that, Steve put his arm around his waist and pulled him closer. It was a cute image. It also broke one of the rules.

‘That breaks a rule,’ Nat said before Clint could. So he just nodded and kept munching on his slice of pepperoni pizza.

Steve frowned, but Tony was already asleep, happy like a cat. Steve was rubbing his back.

Clint swallowed and raised three fingers. ‘Rule 3: there shall not be undue physical contact.’

Oh, that was the Captain America face. ‘This is not undue. Tony’s tired. He needs the rest.’

‘He has a bed. Probably more than one.’

‘I’m comfier here,’ Tony said, opening up one eye and hugging Steve.

Clint gasped. ‘You’re not supposed to be dating.’

‘We’re not. I’m just helping out a teammate.’

The team remained silent. They were going to be stubborn about it, then.

‘Then, can Hulk help me tonight in my room?’ Nat asked.

‘No!’ everybody else said at the same time.

Hulk pouted. ‘Nobody lets the Hulk have any fun.’

After that, Clint printed out the memo and memorized each item. No matter what, he was going to bring down the law on them. Everybody on the team kept disrespecting him and shoving their crushes on his face. But he’d have the last laugh.

His next chance came during one of the team dinner nights. Steve always insisted on those: they were good for morale and team cohesion, which would obviously result in better battle outcomes. Clint just thought Steve didn’t like to eat alone, but he wasn’t complaining. The team dinners were always tasty and delicious. That night wasn’t an exception: the mouth-watering smell of a hearty stew filled the kitchen. Steve was in charge and Tony was with him in the kitchen, making a nuisance of himself. Of course, Steve wasn’t kicking him out.

‘Hey, here, taste,’ Steve said and brought the spoon to Tony’s mouth. Tony’s tongue licked the edge of the spoon and Clint blushed.

‘Wow, Steve, you’re the best. This tastes like my grandmother’s home cooking.’

‘Your grandmother never cooked for you and I know it.’

Of course, this wasn’t enough proof. Yes, they were oozing hearts and giggling like two fools, but they’d probably say it was just friendly feeding. Clint snorted. Maybe they truly didn’t realize what was going on.

The dinner went down without anything more than Steve and Tony holding hands under the table (’my hands feel so cold’, Tony had said, and Steve of course had offered to keep them warm because this was something friends did) and laughing at inside jokes. But the dessert was…

Well, there were popsicles. Cherry, lime, and raspberry, as always, because Steve got a kick out of the colors. At first, Clint didn’t suspect anything weird. He just grabbed one and went to play videogames with the Hulk, who had four shoved inside his mouth. Maybe that was the reason Thor was so into… no. He wasn’t going to imagine that. Nat was on the balcony, sitting on the rail, and talking to Thor. Tony had already finished his.

‘Oh, you still have yours! That’s unfair!’ he told Steve.

Steve smiled. ‘Well, I like to take my time. Want a taste?’

Tony leaned down and took the popsicle into his mouth. Steve pushed it in and then slid it out. Clint wanted to cover his eyes, but his hands were full. Steve kept sliding it in and out, in and out…

‘Stop this! Rule five!’

They both stared at him, the popsicle still hanging from Tony’s mouth. There was a bit of saliva dripping down his beard and his lips were bright red.

‘The one about no… no sexually charged moments in front of the team!’

‘What’s sexually charged about this?’

Tony took the popsicle out of his mouth. ‘You need to stop seeing everything in a sexual light!’

Clint just left the room. Everybody was in denial.

Even if everybody else wanted to pretend cuddling was normal professional behavior and moaning during massages was something friends did, Clint knew he was right. He had even asked Reddit about it. His question had gone viral, but nevertheless, everybody across social media platforms was in agreement: the Popsicle Bosses were clearly breaking all boundaries of professionalism and good taste.

Too bad they weren’t going to listen to him.

So he had given up on it. At least he had been given a reprieve because Tony had left on a business trip for two weeks. Clint hadn’t even needed to be told to figure it out: Steve was sulking and everybody knew why he sulked. He had spent all morning training alone and now he was silently eating his instant ramen. He was so sulky he hadn’t wanted to cook.

They would have to distract him somehow. Maybe a party? A marathon? An Asgardian tournament? Clint was beginning to plan a Superhero Wrestling Tournament’s brackets when the familiar sound of 200 lbs of metal hitting the ground came from the balcony.

Steve’s face broke into a smile. ‘Tony!’ he said and waved at him. ‘You’re early.’

Tony opened the faceplate. ‘Well, I missed you. And the team.’

Steve stood up and went to Tony. So far, so normal. Tony began saying something about ‘Tokyo’ and ‘traffic’ when Steve grabbed him by the shoulders and… kissed him.

Nat dropped her chopsticks. Thor dropped his hammer. Hulk dropped his jaw. Clint didn’t drop anything because he wasn’t surprised.

‘Brought you ice cream. Pecan butter,’ Tony said, without missing a beat, and shoved the ice cream into Steve’s arms.

‘My favorite! Come on, I’ll cook you something. What do you want? Something simple? We can order in if…’

Clint coughed. ‘So, nobody’s going to mention the blatant breaking of rule seven?’

‘Rule seven?’ Tony asked, furrowing his brow.

‘There will be no kissing between active Avengers.’

‘There wasn’t…’ Tony began and then his eyes went wide. Steve went fully red and disappeared up the stairs, still carrying the ice cream. Tony was still frozen in place.

Clint snorted. _Of course_ they hadn’t even noticed. ‘Go after him, dumbass.’

Tony, still pale, went up the stairs like a robot.

On the one hand, the movie was effective: Clint had been shivering ever since the young single mother had entered her childhood’s home. Odd noises, creaky floors, shadows just out of the corner of her eye. But on the other hand, he couldn’t stop thinking that the evil killer fog was probably a metaphor for depression, capitalism, or both. A door slammed and he jumped on his seat.

There were footsteps and… those footsteps were in the room. He elbowed Nat and she dropped her popcorn. They looked over their shoulders, very slowly.

It wasn’t an evil clown — and Clint knew his fair share of those — or a killer metaphorical fog. Not even a killer frog. It was just Steve and Tony. Clint raised his eyebrows. Even if they were freshly showered, nothing could hide the tell-tale signs of a sex marathon: hickeys, bruises, Tony’s smuggest grin, and Steve’s dumbest smile.

‘So I assume the fraternization rules are off, then?’ Clint asked. Hulk shushed him. ‘Just pause the movie, big guy.’

Tony and Steve looked at each other, then at the team, then at each other again. Then they shook their heads.

‘What? Cap, you always say that if a rule applies to one of us, it applies to all of us!’

Cap crossed his arms at the same time Tony did. They both would have looked a lot more authoritative if it wasn’t for the hickeys.

‘In this case…’

‘…considering you were right…’

‘…about how we were previously dating…’

‘…even if we hadn’t been able to tell…’

‘… we consider ourselves grandfathered in,’ they both finished in unison. ‘Any _new_ relationship is going to be forbidden.’

Clint frowned. ‘Cap. You know that’s unfair.’

Cap looked aside. ‘It’s just that…’

‘Look, we’re happy for you, aren’t we, team?’

The team nodded.

‘So happy we think the risk to the team is worth your happiness. Because we respect and love you that much.’

Cap was looking teary-eyed. Good. He had to keep laying it on thick.

‘So you should do the same for us and let us risk it. For happiness. For beauty. For _love_.’

Cap turned to look at Tony, with puppy eyes. Tony rolled his eyes but Clint knew he had won. Tony was incredibly stupid about Cap’s puppy eyes and way more of a sap than his cool facade showed.

‘Fine. Hawkeye, you win. The fraternization rules no longer apply.’

Both Thor and Nat turned to look at Hulk. Clint stood up from his seat. It was time to see what the fuss was all about.

‘In that case, Hulk and I are going to have a fencing tournament up in my room.’

Hulk tilted his head and then shrugged. ‘Sounds fun,’ he said, grinning.

Nat put a hand on Hulk’s arm. ‘He doesn’t mean… actual fencing.’

‘Oh.’ The Hulk frowned and then grinned even wider. ‘That sounds even better.’


End file.
